Separated after living together

Check what you have arranged

Look up the cohabitation contract and see which provisions deal with the end of the relationship. Also collect property documents, rental agreements, mortgage details and information about joint accounts. Not every expense during the relationship automatically gives a right to reimbursement.

Make an overview of assets and debts and note whose name they are in. Include what you agree on and what points remain unclear. A notary or lawyer can help explain agreements and possible claims.

Home and practical settlement

Discuss who will stay in the home for the time being and how ongoing costs will be paid. An agreement between partners does not automatically change a contract with the landlord, bank or other creditor. Have it checked which permission or additional processing is required.

Concretely record the distribution of items and any payments. Indicate which documents are still missing and when you will discuss the implementation. Do not sign a final waiver of rights without understanding what it covers.

If the home is rented, obtain a separate assessment of who can remain in the rented home after separation.

If you have children

Check who the legal parents are and who has parental authority. Discuss care, information and maintenance separately from the distribution of items. Depending on the parental authority situation, a parenting plan may be mandatory. Have a qualified adviser assess which agreements and possible procedures suit your situation.

Without a contract, careful investigation remains necessary

Even without a cohabitation contract, there may be joint properties, accounts or debts. Start with what has actually been recorded and paid for. Note which documents are in one name and which are in both names. The absence of a cohabitation contract does not automatically provide the answer to every question about an investment during the relationship.

If one more partner has contributed, collect agreements and payment documents. An expectation of reimbursement is not the same as a clearly stated claim. Have this investigated before you settle amounts or take disputed items with you. A practical overview should show facts; the legal conclusion can then be discussed with someone who reviews the documents and circumstances.

Home: separating use, ownership and financing

Who will continue to live for the time being, who is the owner and who can be held responsible by the bank or landlord are separate questions. A temporary living situation is therefore not a final division. Discuss use, access and charges clearly, without inadvertently making open or definitive commitments. Indicate when an arrangement is only intended to keep the coming period workable.

An acquisition of a jointly owned home may require financing and notarial settlement. When renting, the contract and the applicable legal position are important. Ask what permission or formalities are required. An agreement between partners does not automatically change the relationship with the bank or landlord. Also investigate what happens if the proposed takeover or contract change proves not to be possible.

Hypothetical example: a loan in one name

Suppose a loan is in one name, but the money is used for the joint household. The question of who the lender can appeal to is not identical to the question of what mutual agreement exists about the costs. Keep both assessments separate, even when partners agree on what they consider fair.

Collect the loan, bank statements and agreements. Make visible what happened to the money, without immediately establishing a definitive claim yourself. An advisor can investigate whether a mutual right exists and how an arrangement is made enforceable. Also ask how payments will continue until a final settlement has been reached with all involved.

From distribution to controllable execution

Describe which items go to whom and how transfer and payment take place. Set unclear items aside, so that a provisional overview is not read as a complete final arrangement. Have it assessed when a discharge or waiver of rights is justified. A list of assets is not yet a clear arrangement of all obligations associated with the transfer.

Include subscriptions, permissions and digital access in the practical completion. Do not change access to data or money to which the other person may have rights without advice. Agree how necessary joint documents will remain available. Make it clear for each task who will contact the organization in question and how it will be confirmed that a change has actually been implemented.

Practical checklist

• Collect contracts for society, housing and financing.
• Make a list of assets and liabilities.
• Note agreements about children and running costs.
• Have unclear rights and contract changes reviewed.
• Link each item to a deed, agreement or payment document.
• Note which third parties should be involved for implementation.