Safety in family conflicts

Find support for the situation

In immediate danger, do not wait for a website response or a legal appointment. Contact the emergency services. If there is no immediate emergency, explain your concerns to Veilig Thuis and ask what support may be appropriate.

Tell the professional if children are involved. Describe events and concerns as concretely as possible; you do not need to make a diagnosis yourself. Ask about an appropriate next step and available support for your circumstances.

Negotiations where safety is a concern

Fear or controlling behaviour can make free negotiation difficult. Discuss this separately with a support professional or lawyer before agreeing to mediation or a joint arrangement. A family dispute does not always call for a joint meeting.

If care or contact arrangements already exist, tell a lawyer about the safety concerns. Ask what protection or review may be possible. Existing court orders and an immediate emergency need careful consideration in their own context.

Prepare a conversation safely

If it is safe to do so, note relevant events, arrangements and professional contact details. Ask how information can be shared and stored safely. Do not use this information platform to send emergency reports or confidential evidence.

Distinguish immediate danger from an advice question

For immediate danger in the Netherlands, call 112. This article and website forms do not provide emergency assistance. An appointment with a lawyer or mediator does not replace help needed now either. Do not delay urgent assistance because a legal file is incomplete or you want every fact written down first.

Without immediate danger, you can discuss concerns with Veilig Thuis. Explain whether they concern yourself, a child or someone around you. Ask what the conversation involves and how to take a suitable next step. You do not need to classify the seriousness legally first. Uncertainty is a reason to consult, rather than postpone every request for help.

Advice and reporting: ask about the next steps

A conversation may begin by exploring the situation. Ask for the distinction between advice and a report. Veilig Thuis explains that, after a report, information is gathered, safety is assessed and an appropriate next step is chosen. What is necessary depends on the circumstances and available information.

Do not expect a guaranteed outcome in advance, such as immediate intervention or no follow-up at all. Ask which information is needed, how communication works and what support is possible. Raise concerns about contact with other people immediately. Explain which communication channels are accessible and safe, and ask how that can be considered.

Prepare without increasing risk

If safe, put events in order: what happened, who was present and which arrangements exist? Separate your own observations, information from others and suspicions. This helps a professional ask relevant questions. An initial conversation does not require a perfect file. Do not delay support because documents or confirmation from other people are missing.

Before sharing sensitive information, ask which channel is appropriate. If someone may access your phone, email or shared accounts, an ordinary contact form may need consideration. Put safety before a complete evidence file and seek appropriate support. This guidance does not give general instructions to erase information, confront people or investigate another person yourself.

Hypothetical example: threats during a handover

Suppose a parent experiences threats when collecting a child. A different time does not automatically answer the safety question. Explain the events and existing arrangement or order to a support professional and lawyer. Say whether children witness what happens. Treat practical planning and safety as connected but separate questions.

Seek emergency help for immediate danger. Afterwards, protection, practical changes or legal assessment need consideration. This example does not instruct you to stop or continue contact in every case. The emergency, facts and existing decisions need separate attention. Ask how support services and legal steps can be coordinated without placing responsibility on the child.

Practical checklist

• Contact emergency services for immediate danger.
• Discuss concerns with Veilig Thuis or suitable support.
• Explain whether children are involved.
• Seek separate legal advice on existing arrangements.
• Ask for the difference and consequences of advice and reporting.
• Discuss safe communication and document sharing.