Moving with a child after separation: preparation and consent

Check parental authority and existing arrangements

Collect records, authority information, the parenting plan and court decisions. Also record the existing main residence and care arrangement. Actual residence with one parent does not automatically mean that parent makes all important decisions alone. Check the legal starting position using documents rather than only the practical routine of recent months.

Clarify who wants to move and whether the proposal also concerns the child's residence. A parent may have a personal housing wish while the consequences for the child need separate discussion. This guide does not give general permission where authority is not joint; existing arrangements, contact and particular circumstances may still require legal attention.

Prepare a complete relocation proposal

Describe the destination, reasons and proposed everyday organisation. How will school remain accessible and how will the care schedule work? What changes for childcare, activities and contact with family? Use realistic journey times and practical information. Distance in kilometres alone says little about feasibility during rush hour, work or an ordinary school week.

Compare alternatives with the preferred plan. Could the schedule change or another housing option be explored? Explain what each proposal requires from both households. This is not a fixed legal checklist, but it helps discuss consequences honestly and precisely. An adviser can then identify which facts matter for a personal assessment.

Share information before treating the outcome as settled

Provide a sufficiently concrete proposal for the other parent to respond substantively. Ask what information is missing and explain what remains uncertain. Announcing that the move is already decided leaves little space for joint decision-making. Taking on major commitments may create practical pressure without resolving the legal question of consent.

Keep proposals and relevant responses factually. Silence does not automatically mean consent. Discuss which response is needed and how an agreement should be recorded responsibly. Avoid threats or negotiations in which the child delivers the message. Preparation should make the difference genuinely discussable rather than presenting it solely as a refusal or accomplished fact.

Work out contact and costs after the move

A new address may make an existing handover or weekday contact unworkable. Describe a complete alternative: collection, drop-off, holidays and unexpected events. Also consider the effects on siblings. The existing arrangement remains an important starting point and should not disappear from view behind the new address alone.

Make extra travel and other practical expenses visible without deciding yourself who legally bears each cost. Financial and care arrangements can be connected but each needs a clear assessment. Have any change to maintenance or another agreement checked separately. A care proposal is not automatically a binding new financial arrangement.

If there is no agreement: the dispute procedure

Rechtspraak lists relocation as an example of an important decision on which parents with joint authority may disagree. If discussion does not resolve it, a court decision can be requested. A lawyer is required to start this procedure. The lawyer defines the requested decision and substantiates it with relevant documents.

The other parent can respond. Court proceedings do not guarantee an outcome for the parent wanting to move or the parent opposing it. Discuss the preparation needed and applicable procedural requirements. Have documents you receive reviewed promptly. A self-selected moving date does not guarantee the legal process will produce the desired decision beforehand.

Hypothetical example: living with a partner in another city

Suppose a parent wants to move in with a new partner elsewhere and take the child along. The child has an existing school and care arrangement with the other parent. The proposal needs to cover more than the new home's advantages: school, travel and preserving contact need concrete plans.

Alternatives may involve a different distance or adjusted schedule. This example does not determine what a judge will decide. It shows why personal reasons, the child's interests and effects on the other parent are investigated together. A new tenancy or purchase contract does not itself replace the parental-authority decision and should not be presented as legal permission.

Implement an agreement or decision carefully

Read exactly which permission or decision has been given and which practical arrangements accompany it. Agreement to one plan does not necessarily grant general freedom for every later change. Keep the final text and coordinate implementation with school, childcare, transport and the remaining care arrangements.

Ask which registrations and contracts need amendment and what information the other parent needs. Keep departures from the assessed plan visible. If implementation differs, seek focused advice rather than assuming previous consent automatically covers every new circumstance. Clear implementation remains important after the largest dispute has been resolved.

Practical checklist

• Check parental authority, the plan and existing decisions.
• Describe the destination and daily life after relocation.
• Compare realistic alternatives.
• Work out school, transport and contact fully.
• Keep proposals and relevant responses.
• Seek advice promptly if agreement is missing.