Maintenance from age eighteen: involve the young adult

1. Start with the young adult’s own position

Discuss the transition early and directly with the young adult in clear language. It concerns their living expenses and studies, rather than merely continuing payments between former partners. Explain what existing agreement or decision there is and what questions are still open.

Do not let the conversation turn into an obligatory judgment about the conflict between the parents. A young adult may need information about his or her own rights and obligations, without having to choose sides. In cases of serious tension, an independent legal discussion can help separate the question from the mutual conflict.

2. Find the existing payment basis

Collect the decision and subsequent agreements. Read which child, which contribution and which period the scheme applies to. Do not assume without checking that an old account holder, a verbal agreement or an automatic transfer reflects exactly what is legally appropriate after the eighteenth birthday.

Dutch government guidance states that from age eighteen the young adult generally receives maintenance directly. If the young person continues to live with a parent and shares costs, this requires an understandable practical arrangement. If you have any doubts about payment to a parent, permission or implementation, have the specific situation assessed.

3. Prepare a realistic budget for living expenses and study

Record the housing arrangements and recurring expenses, such as housing, study, transport and necessary daily costs. Make visible which items are paid by a parent and which are borne by the young person. This way you prevent the same expense from appearing unnoticed in multiple budgets.

A budget is primarily a tool for conducting a well-founded discussion. The total is not automatically a legal entitlement that you can send directly to one parent. The relevant need and the contribution of the people legally required to provide maintenance must be assessed together.

4. Assess the relevance of personal income

A part-time job, internship allowance or changed study situation may be relevant. Collect the actual data and ask how it fits into the concrete assessment. Avoid the simple conclusions that every amount earned must be fully deducted or that your own income never counts.

With a fluctuating income, an overview of several appropriate periods with explanations helps. Also discuss foreseeable changes, such as leaving home or quitting a course. Distinguish between a plan, a final decision and a change that has actually taken place, so that a calculation is not based on incorrect assumptions.

5. Keep parental responsibility visible

A conversation with the young adult does not remove the financial responsibility of parents. The capacity and obligations of the parents involved remain important. One of them cannot deduce from their own preference alone that the other must bear all costs from now on.

Conversely, an independent conversation with the young person does not mean that every household agreement with the parent with whom the young adult lives disappears. Have it recorded which payments are made for which purpose. This provides clarity about the maintenance contribution and any personal agreements regarding board fees, without unnoticed mixing of legal categories.

6. Hypothetical example: living at home and having a part-time job

A young person turns 18, lives with a parent and has a variable part-time job. The paying parent expects the contribution to now expire, while the parent with whom the young adult lives expects an unchanged transfer to their own account. Both then miss the independent position of the young person and the current financial question.

Better preparation brings together the existing decision, personal income, housing costs and study costs. It will then be determined which payment and agreement are appropriate and who must agree to this. The example deliberately does not contain an automatic reduction: sufficient data and a legal assessment are lacking for this.

7. Prepare for variation, collection or proceedings

If the parties do not agree, it must first be clear who can apply and the legal basis for doing so. The judiciary states that a maintenance request can also concern an adult child. Ask a lawyer what role the young adult and each parent have in the concrete process.

In the event of overdue payment, collect the same payment basis and payment history, but mention the age of majority immediately when you request help. The transition around the age of 21 also deserves a timely assessment; there may be special situations. Do not stop or continue payments solely because of a birthday without checking the applicable obligation.

Practical checklist

• Discuss the transition directly and calmly with the young adult.
• Find the court order, payment agreements and current recipient bank account.
• Make an overview of living, studying, costs and own income.
• Have it assessed which persons should be involved in a new agreement or procedure.
• Save new agreements with a clear explanation of payments and responsibilities.